Dear Abby: I want to leave my spouse for another man

I've had a man in my life for 34 years. I divorced him after a brief marriage due to his drug addiction. For the past eight years, I have been wedded to a great man who is kind to me but unresponsive to my wants or wishes. I don't have feelings for him. Early on in our marriage, when we discussed my needs, he became irritable and promised to "try." That only lasted a few while. He is entirely concerned with his own demands and wants. My ex-boyfriend lost his mother three years ago. My ex got in touch with me after I sent a sympathy message to his sibling. Together, we have cried and discussed. He has expressed regret and begged for pardon. He then told me he has never stopped loving me. We have met a couple of times since, and I’m having a hard time deciding what to do. My house resembles a tiny workplace more than a house. We run a business, we run a ministry, and I work full-time. Even if I want to return to my ex, I can't just pick up and leave. He won't go back to that life because he has been sober for three years and is no longer suffering from drug-related health issues. What shall I do?— TORN IN LOVE IN THE SOUTH DEAR TORN: Your self-centered husband and your reported relationship sounds more like a business partnership than anything else. From what you've said, it appears that he is either unable or unwilling to meet your needs. You will need to take control of your life unless you enjoy wandering in an emotional wasteland. I advise you to take a LONG pause and not rush back to the altar IF you decide to divorce your husband. reconnect with your ex-partner. Find out what pressures led to his drug misuse. Even though you care about him, the last thing you need is to find yourself in the same situation again. DEAR ABBY: I was not invited to the gender reveal party recently held by my oldest pregnant niece. Instead, she gave me a call to let me know the baby's gender. Her father, my brother, and his wife attended. A baby shower for my niece is currently being held by my sister-in-law. I no longer experience being regarded as family. I've never received an invitation from my brother's family to any gatherings. I'm perplexed as to why she's inviting me to her baby shower but not the gender reveal party. My thoughts are that I shouldn't attend her baby shower if I wasn't worthy enough to be invited to the gender reveal along with her friends and the rest of our family.— HURT AUNT IN INDIANA