How Obscene Talk In Bed Saved Our Marriage

The sex in my current relationship started to change from being spontaneous as it once was to become a routine activity that was scheduled several years into our relationship. Since when did having sex become more interesting than chopping broccoli? That all changed one night when I overheard something that roused my libido and perked up my ears at the start of our customary ritualistic once-weekly intercourse. Any conversation we ever had during sex was often directed or something along the lines of, "Is that it, baby?" or "I can't do this with the cat in the room!" We just did not communicate. When I heard "Get over here and do as I say," everything changed. After that, every phase of the session was explained to me using language that was clearly racy but not disgusting—there is a thin line to walk here. Physically speaking, not much changed that night, but the atmosphere was considerably more thrilling and unusual. I had the freedom to behave anyway I wanted because I felt like someone else. I had witnessed dirty discussions between couples in movies or on television, but I never once considered that we were one of those couples. We weren't some young, hot Hollywood couple; we were just average suburbanites with jobs, kids, and a mortgage. Thankfully, none of that mattered; in fact, it increased the excitement. The first night was fantastic and it resulted in a lot of unauthorized sex! With the addition of dirty language, our new sexual life had an edge we had never known before. I had a strong desire for sex for the first time in a long time. We weren't some young, hot Hollywood couple; we were just average suburbanites with jobs, kids, and a mortgage. [caption id="attachment_71556" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Image: pixabay[/caption] When I initially attempted, it was difficult to contain my amusement at myself. I found it difficult to speak the things that I believed would turn someone on without chuckling or feeling mildly embarrassed. Fortunately, no one took this against me, and after about a week I began to feel more and more at ease in my role and even surprised myself with some of the things I said. Beyond the tremendous rise in sex, the results of dirty talking were phenomenal. This time, we were truly having fun. It seemed as though having the opportunity to express ourselves so freely encouraged us to start acting on our fantasies and wants, bringing them into the physical world. We just went with the passionless flow prior to being given the freedom to communicate with each other in the bedroom. Like a dose of spicy sauce over grits, dirty conversation enhanced our sexual experiences. When sex ended, the effects of dirty conversation continued to affect our daily lives. It appeared as though we had just reconnected and the honeymoon stage had just started. [caption id="attachment_71559" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Image: Pixabay[/caption] We immediately became more attentive to one another. At work, a dozen flowers may show up, and sometimes when I got home, the kitchen was clean and dinner was ready! If I had known that, I would have given dirty talking a try years ago. On occasion, I would give the kids a special weekend by sending them to be with their aunts. The most significant aspect, though, was how much our communication improved outside of the bedroom; for the first time in years, we started conversing during dinner or while going for nighttime walks, talking about anything came to mind. [caption id="attachment_71561" align="aligncenter" width="728"] Getty Image[/caption] Some people may initially find dirty speech to be forbidden or even a little frightening, but I am so delighted it has become a part of our culture. Since it made such a significant difference, I honestly don't know whether we would be organizing our fifteenth anniversary without it! Try that the next time you're in the bedroom. Nothing negative can come from a little nasty language, and it could end up giving you everything.