My husband, partner, and I are polyamorous and live with our 2 children

Living with my two partners Daniel and Ty, our two children D and H, and I am polyamorous. We try to be fair and equitable when it comes to the holidays and see as many relatives as we can. We manage it, albeit with a little finesse and a lot of planning. Due to the fact that there are two sets of in-laws when there are two partners, we must consider going to three locations for the holidays, or even more depending on how those relatives are spread out. I use Google Calendar a lot, and fortunately, I enjoy planning. So how do we do it?

Our holiday schedule

We see Ty's family more frequently than Daniel and I do our own family, who are all in Tennessee, because most of them reside close by where we live in Richmond, Virginia. We observe Christian holidays in addition to the customary American holidays because we are all Christians or closely related to Christians. For Thanksgiving, we customarily have Daniel's family over because they are less finicky than my family and I enjoy cooking a lot of food for everyone. Our lives remain busy but largely stress-free during this time because it is a holiday without gifts and they usually decide to stay in a hotel when they come to visit. Then, over the Thanksgiving holiday, we spend time with Ty's family and attempt to arrange something special, like seeing a movie followed by supper out. We always go to Nashville to spend Christmas with my family, especially because my niece's birthday is on Christmas Day. As a result, Daniel, my legal spouse, is the only person I can sleep with if I'm staying with my parents. Even though they are conservative, my parents accept and like Ty since he is a member of my family and his presence is non-negotiable. The idea of us sharing a bed in their home, though, still makes them uneasy. There are only so many rooms at my parents' house because it is their home. Ty stayed at my sister's home over the holidays the previous year because she also resides in Nashville. This year, he intends to spend the night on a couch at my parents' house because he misses being near to the rest of us. However, Ty and I will need to book a hotel, as we did for two nights last year, if we want to spend any time alone. I believe that if we had the means, we would all prefer to stay in a hotel or an Airbnb close to my parents' home. On New Year's Day, we always make it back to Ty's family's house in Richmond.  As for celebrations later in the year, my parents typically come to visit us at Easter, and my in-laws often drive up for the kids' birthdays.

I always say, 'You get what you give' — and it's true

It is true that there are more Christmas meals to attend and things to buy the more partners you have. However, you receive what you give. We also manage to scrape together enough money thanks to our three salaries to ensure that everyone feels loved on special occasions like holidays and birthdays. Like I do for D and H, I make an effort to distribute gifts equally between Ty and Daniel. Family is very important to me, and being polyamorous has given me a lot more of it. Yes, it takes a lot more work, and yes, initially the more traditional relatives may feel uncomfortable around us, but I believe it's crucial that we participate and normalize polyamory. Thankfully, our families still like us, so when the five of us choose to gather as a family and simply be ourselves in front of our relatives, everyone feels more at ease around us. I wouldn't have it any other way—the holidays are always exciting.